You’re ready to dive in. To the sea, that is. Where drowning may be a more desired outcome than meeting someone on a dating app. However, there are plenty more fish in there, so it can be well worth the chilly dip. But whether you’re 18 or 58, dating apps can definitely seem like an overwhelming and anxiety-inducing experience.

With apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Grindr reducing your first impression to nothing more than a 2D representation of an entire human life, it can seem a little daunting from the outset. But if you’re ready and willing to meet new people, put yourself out there or simply just practise your banter, dating apps are a wonderful place to start.

Get downloading, and hop to it.

Firstly, get the right app for you

Not all dating apps are created equal, so it’s important you find the right fit for you. From flings to finding love to anything in between, here’s a quick guide.

Tinder

One of the most downloaded apps around the globe, Tinder is most popular among 18- to 24-year-olds, but is open to anyone over 18.

Use this app if: you’re looking for casual dating with the possibility of a relationship.

Bumble

With a focus on empowering women and creating equality from the get-go, Bumble requires the woman to send the first message once a match is made. It also offers networking and friendship matches!

Use this app if: you’re new to a city, or looking to expand your general social circles.

Hinge

The dating app that’s “designed to be deleted”, Hinge has you build a more detailed profile that includes your religion, lifestyle choices and education. You can send a like based on someone’s profile prompt rather than just a photo.

Use this app if: you’re more serious about dating and want to meet highly compatible partners or maybe even a lifetime pal. Also a great option for the LGBTIQ community.

The League

This app keeps things succinct. They send you matches at “Happy Hour” that have been efficiently screened for your convenience. It pulls info from your Facebook and LinkedIn to find someone matching your drive and passion, all while blocking any employees or family members from your profile.

Use this app if: you’re a time-poor workaholic looking for a serious relationship on your way to world domination.

Grindr

The most popular hook-up and dating app for gay, bi and trans people since 2009, Grindr allows you to be upfront about what you’re looking for.

Use this app if: you’re looking for hook-ups or casual dating.

Know why you’re doing this

OK, so you’ve got the app. Whatever your reason, it’s valid. Own it.

Are you looking to take it slow and hopefully meet The One? Awesome.

Are you looking for a quick and uncomplicated one-night stand? Get it.

Just curious to see what’s out there and test the waters? Take those baby steps.

Ready to explore your sexuality and feel true to yourself, after all this time? We’re so proud of you.

It’s only human to worry about the judgement you might receive from others or that you unfairly place on yourself. But a large part of this process is learning to speak kindly to yourself and let that go – this journey is for you and it can be so empowering.

Know what you want and manage your expectations

Once you know why you’re doing this, it’s easy to break down what you actually want from the other party.

If you’re feeling constantly let down or disappointed, take a moment to realign yourself with your reason for joining. Is the dating app experience perhaps not fulfilling your requirements? Maybe take a break or try a new tactic.

Don’t forget, this is actually a slightly abnormal experience

OK, we can admit it. Meeting a potential mate through a tiny computer in your hand is not an entirely biological process.

Not being able to experience the other person in the flesh makes it harder to pick up their social cues, feel their energy or (unbeknownst to your conscious mind) sniff up all their pheromones.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to find the perfect match. There is so much more to meeting someone than the 150 characters that they can fit in their bio.

Don’t get carried away

We’ve all been there. You’ve swiped right on a total dreamboat. You’ve read their whole profile back to front twice over and they tick all your boxes. You’ve stalked their Instagram and before you know it … you’re in love.

Hate to break it to you, but you’re in love with an idea. A very common pattern we see in online dating behaviour is building up the idea of someone so high in your head and so far into the future, that there’s no way they could possibly live up to it.

The image that everyone (yes, including you) presents online is an idealised version of a self, packaged into something attractive and likeable. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but just don’t forget that with all that juicy goodness comes the real stuff, too.

Ensure your banter is on song

Don’t forget that across all of these dating apps, first impressions count. So we’re officially banning you from opening with “Hi, how was your day?” Here are some quick quips to get the conversation flowing:

Biggest fear?

  1. Snakes
  2. Spiders
  3. Saying ‘you too’ to the cinema staff when they tell you to enjoy your movie

What’s your weekend mood: camping on the beach or binging Netflix in a pillow fort?

What was the last book or movie that you really connected with?

Hi Lucy, you seem super adventurous! What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?

Pros & cons of dating me:

Pros:

  • am open to sharing my Netflix account
  • will always make the bed in the morning
  • can eat 30 chicken nuggets in one sitting

Cons:

  • uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism
  • nocturnal
  • will eat 30 chicken nuggets in one sitting

Getting the other party to open up about themselves and stop to really think about a question is a great way to get meaningful conversation flowing, but it’s also great to kick things off with a laugh to set both of you at ease.

So go on, make like the Titanic and start breaking the ice.

Most importantly – stay safe and have a ball

Ensure their profile has been verified (the basic minimum most dating apps offer in lieu of safety checks) and plan your date in a public location with an easy escape route.

Our go-to move: scrape your conversations and their social media for personal information (their full name and workplace) and text it to a friend along with the time and location of your date. It never hurts to have someone clued into where you are.

But don’t get so caught up that you forget to have fun. Meeting new people is an amazing way to improve your social and conversational skills, to learn new things or gain new perspectives. If things don’t work out in a romantic sense, maybe you’ve gained a new friend. Maybe you’ve gained some more confidence, or perhaps some liberation from your old ideas about dating.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be someone you’re not, or to find someone quickly. Seeing yourself through a different lens always helps you to grow, learn and mature … which might just prepare you for that brand new relationship.