Blood, sweat, and well, hopefully not tears. Having penetrative sex on your period is 100% possible and can and should be relatively mess free (I mean, unless you like it messy, each to their own). In fact, orgasms have actually been found to relieve period pain, so you could say that we actually should be having sex on our period. Unfortunately, period sex can get a bad wrap and it’s easy to write off that time of the month as being a no go zone for penetrative sex. But it’s hardly necessary, and you have options to create a zone that works for you.
The most obvious benefit of having sex on your period is that orgasms relieve cramps. How? Well, menstrual cramps are a result of your uterus contracting to release its lining. When you have an orgasm, the muscles of your uterus also contract. Then they release. It’s science. As a bonus, sex also triggers the release of chemicals called endorphins, which make you feel good and can relieve headaches as well. And finally – natural lubrication, baby. Enough said.
Things to consider first
You know you. If your period comes like clockwork and is heavy on days one and two only, you’re probably not going to feel like banging your heart out (hello hectic cramping and chocolate on the couch). But once those heavy days dwindle into a medium or light flow – there’s a lot less to worry about when it comes to doing it on your period. If, on the contrary you’re heavy for five or more days, you’re going to want a different solution. And if you just spot for like seven to ten days straight, one – that sucks and I see you – but two, you’re basically open slather when it comes to sex on your period. Identify what you feel comfortable with and then work out your options.
A no-brainer when it comes to sex on your period is doing it in the shower. This is definitely your best option if you want to get it on on a heavier day of your period. It’s likely it’s going to be messy so this way you really don’t have to worry about it. But wait, shower sex mostly sucks. And our partners aren’t all The Rock and about to hold us up against the shower wall. Plus the tiles/wall is freezing. Try using a plastic stool or chair that your partner can sit on so you can straddle them to make it more achievable. Alternatively, doing it from behind is also a realistic shower sex move (depending on heights of course).
Put down a towel
The thing about our periods is that despite it looking like a literal blood bath when we take off a pad or remove a tampon or menstrual cup – it’s not actually that much blood. The average woman loses 60 milliliters of blood on their period which happens across a number of days. On any given day we’re losing somewhere between 10 and 20 mls. So it’s not actually that much. Saying that, we don’t really want *any* blood on our bed sheets, even if it is a couple of mls. For peace of mind – simply pop a towel under your hips while you’re having sex. The odds are that you’re not even going to need it, but at least you can chill out knowing you’re not going to have to wash the sheets after.
Try a cup
Honestly I thought we’d hit the jackpot with menstrual cups in terms of finally having worry-free periods and a solution that lasts more than four hours. But now there’s versions of the menstrual cup that you can wear and have sex at the same time. That’s how you know it’s the 21st century. Cups such as the Nixit and Lumma menstrual cup sit above the vaginal canal allowing for mess-free period sex. There’s loads of testimonials of people saying they legit work and no leaks – but of course this comes back to your cycle and your body.
Just as there’s no one-size-fits solution to periods – there’s no one solution to period sex. It’s more about knowing your flow, knowing your body and doing what you’re comfortable with.
Side note: Sex on your period is not a form of contraception. Women’s ovulation cycles can vary, so it’s statistically possible you could become pregnant while on your period.
“I had sex on my period for the first time recently after a lifetime of thinking I wasn’t allowed. It was this really beautiful experience to be able to follow my desire and not have to worry about that as a restriction. And to be with someone who I was comfortable sharing that with. There was an intimacy in it that I hadn’t realised. And it wasn’t that messy.” – Kate from Brisbane
“Once I was seeing this dude with the hottest bod and he’d never had period sex but was keen to try it. I was playing it off like it’s not even that much blood because in the past when I’d had period sex it hadn’t been much at all. So we start at it and I’m on top and after a short while it was super wet so I stopped to check we weren’t making too much of a mess. I get off him and turn the light on and he is COVERED in the bloodiest period blood I’ve ever seen like up to his belly button and halfway down his muscly thighs. I was like ‘would you like me to take you to the shower’ because I lived in a sharehouse and he was just super pale and quiet and nodded. LOL.” – Abbey from Brisbane