Sleep, dream, wake, repeat. Dreams are just a normal part of snoozing and while some people may not remember their dreams, everyone is thought to dream between three and six times per night.
According to ‘The Dream Doctor’ Martina Kocian, a trained dream therapist who has been specialising in dream interpretation, dream analysis and dream therapy since 2008, dreams of a sexual nature are pretty common. And studies have revealed that 8% of our dreams contain sexual themes and content.
When it comes to dreams more generally, Martina notes how closely our dreams and waking life are connected and as such why it is so important to acknowledge our dreams.
“Dreams are profoundly entangled with our everyday lives, meaning all our daily experiences, emotions, thoughts, memories, perceptions, late night scrolling content and even physical sensations can influence our dreams. This also works in reverse in that our dreams can influence our waking reality, sometimes in life-changing ways,” Martina says.
“Dreams can be a great harbinger for self awareness, helping to reflect the state of our emotions and highlighting issues and themes playing out in our daily lives.
“If we pay close attention to and work with our dreams, they can provide an abundance of insight for problem solving, making crucial life changes, regulating emotions and mental health, recontextualising and healing trauma and some recent studies are even investigating the connection between dreams and the immune system.”
With her businesses The Dream Garden and her recently launched Dreamcubator, an online dream platform where dreamers can upload, share and comment on dreams within the Dreamcubator community, Martina works with patients on dreamwork to take this further.
“The encounters we experience with dream phenomena such as symbols and archetypes offer valuable information often beyond language and can impact the whole mind-body system in intangible ways. We become affected by the dream and touched by these intelligences,” Martina says.
“When we embody our dream symbols, they bestow their power onto us. We can then harness the cunning and power of the villain, the freedom and flight of the eagle, the sensuality and sexual prowess of the prostitute. This is the benefit of acknowledging and working with our dreams.”
Diving into dreams of a sexual nature, Martina says, sexual dreams are completely healthy and a natural phenomenon.
“Sexual dreams can reflect our desire for physical intimacy, release sexual tension, offer an opportunity to explore and experiment in a safe environment or they can act as metaphors, reflecting situations or emotions we are experiencing in our waking lives. For example, if you’re feeling exposed and vulnerable in your sex dream, it’s important to explore where you are experiencing these emotions in daily life,” Martina says.
“Some of the most common types of sex dreams include masturbating, sex with an ex, sex with a celebrity, cheating dreams and having sex in public places.”
Just like any other dream, sex dreams are imbued with valuable information.
“Depending on the dream and of course the dreamer, sex dreams can shine a light on the state of our own sex lives, represent a union with other aspects of ourselves, compensate for a lack of sexual activity, offer us a chance for exploration and experimentation, or help heal any sexual trauma we may have experienced,” Martina says.
“Generally sex dreams provide an opportunity to explore the qualities of our sexual dream partners and integrate them as part of ourselves in the desire for wholeness. For example, if you find yourself dreaming about having an affair with your boss, you may be embodying their power, leadership or other quality you find attractive or useful at that point in time.
“Dream therapy can really take this to the next level and offer unprecedented insight when we take on the perspective of our dream partner. One of my clients was having difficulty getting over a previous relationship when she experienced a dream in which she was having sex with her ex at a wedding. When we explored the dream from the perspective of her ex, she could feel his gaze and desire for other women at the wedding. Actually experiencing the sensations of desire within the body of her ex, my client not only reignited her own sexual potency but also sensed his deep desire for other women. This epiphany allowed her to truly move on from the relationship.”